Dealing with loss and grief on Mother’s Day
By Betty Medley, Co-Director Family Life Office
As I write this, I am very much aware that Mother’s Day is coming soon. That will be a doubly difficult day in countless homes. For all the thousands of mothers who will be glowing with a radiant kind of pride and happiness on that day, there will also be those of you whose hearts are aching for that phone call that will never come, that special visit, that one Mother’s Day card that will not arrive in the mail. For some, the reading and rereading of that one last card - "Mom, you’re the greatest and I love you!" - will have to last a lifetime.
How does a mother face a lifetime of silence on "her" day? Ask those who have "been there" already, and they will tell you of lonely Mother’s Day visits to spring-green cemeteries. You will hear of yellow roses being sent to a church "in memory of..." and a cherished story of a kind and sensitive friend who sent a single rose that first Mother’s Day "in remembrance."
Holidays and special days can be very difficult. Below are some suggestions that may be helpful to those of you who have experienced a loss.
These are ways to love and take care of yourself, as well as honor and celebrate the occasion.1. Allow yourself to feel your emotions on your special day; don’t feel that you need to just
"get over it." You may want to write them down in a journal or draw them on paper.Take time for reflection.
2. Take time and share memories with your family of the loved one who died.
*light a candle in honor of her or him
*set out a picture and tell stories of her or his life
*watch a home video together
* look through a photo album together or make a family memory book
3. Do something for someone else. Reaching out to someone else who is in need can help
with your feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.4. Allow yourself to feel joy. You are not betraying your loved one. You may want to do
something for yourself such as join a support group.If you would like further assistance in dealing with grief, you may contact Betty Medley at (270) 683-1545 ext. 105